Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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