yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
