speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
