I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
