I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
