I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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