I need help removing her.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My dick has a subreddit
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
