Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm always down for nudity.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
