just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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