whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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