i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
