It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
