I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
