i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
