he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Randomize
