Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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