Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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