You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
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pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
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The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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