Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
