C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Me too!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
