Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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