I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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