You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
