I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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