I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
