OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
