i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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