Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
do nipples grow back?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
