I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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