had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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