don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize