he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
