His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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