thus making me awesome and them whores
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
