You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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