So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize