you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
