There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
