Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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