Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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