i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
