Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
