so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize