i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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