i think my tv is drunk
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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