We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
