she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
