i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
