: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish I could teleport
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
