maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
