God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
