I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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