Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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