I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But break dance skills will only take you so far
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
