So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
