No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
