please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
