Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
