the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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