We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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