do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
