even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
