Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize