I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
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I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?