"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
honey bunches of taint.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.