508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.