My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.